a somali coffee conflict

Mary Oliver talks of red bird; a story set in timeless beauty from its origin in Ohio to the reading aloud of itself under a great, indescribably awesome tree in an African backyard.

I will try.
I will step from the house to see what I see
and hear and I will praise it.
I did not come into the world
to be comforted.
I came, like red bird, to sing.
But I'm not red bird, with his head-mop of flame
and the red triangle of his mouth
full of tongue and whistles,
but a woman whose love has vanished,
who thinks now, too much, of roots
and the dark places
where everything is simply holding on.
But this too, I believe, is a place
where God is keeping watch
until we rise, and step forth again and-
but wait. Be still. Listen!
Is it red bird? Or something
inside myself, singing? (Mary Oliver)


Got in a heated discussion yesterday that just nearly broke my heart to pieces. I went out with another USP girl and Ugandan guy… we went to this great Somali petro-station/restaurant (sounds like such a Maine thing…where you find businesses that offer ballroom dancing and printing services in the same venue, or hardware stores selling jewelry…) for lunch and coffee, and as we were chatting, the conversation turned to the issue of the Homosexuality Bill attempting to be passed in Uganda. Basically, this bill permits the public punishment/hanging of outed homosexuals in Uganda. I pray to God that human rights groups are as on top of this as I think they are and thus will prevent it from going through, but still- the threat is there for horrific bill to go through sometime in the coming year here in Uganda. In this conversation- Lauren and I stand firmly AGAINST this bill, each having multiple homosexual friends and in general a Western-tailored tolerant view on this lifestyle --- at the very least to the point where we would never dream of execution (public or otherwise) being a reasonable or lawful response to this lifestyle. However, our male accompaniment at the table stated with such a rueful passion and intensity in his voice and eyes that he very firmly agrees with this bill and thinks it only morally right that it should be passed. "Why should we allow them to live in our society?" <--is the general Ugandan attitude towards homosexuality. In this debate, the general opinion is that homosexual individuals should not even be allowed to be in society- they are not just ousted from churches or religious institutions, certain schools or workplaces, No- society as a WHOLE. "No room in the inn" for social deviancy of this nature. As he sat there spitting about the "disgraceful" and "disgusting" practices of "those people" and adamantly - with furrowed, serious brow and PIERCING eyes (a term I feel I've never understood until yesterday) - condemning these PEOPLE, not their decisions or lifestyle or sexuality as separate entities from themselves, but the very PEOPLE: somehow God granted the grace to keep my hands solidly in place on my lap and not assailing his face with my fists in rage. Somehow. (and people say miracles don't happen anymore…) At one point he even asserted that "public hanging is not enough. The punishment deserves to be more severe- they should be boiled in hot oil."
At this point, I asked him if his opinion would change were it to personally involve one of his friends.
He looked at me, annoyed, thinking I was bringing up some outrageous hypothetical "what if" point that would of course change his views but had an impossible probability of ever needing to be considered realistically. I stopped him as he smiled and shrugged, undoubtedly thinking "none of MY friends would ever be homosexual, so I would never have to think about this situation you're proposing."
I stopped him by pointing out that a good friend of his is a lesbian. Here at UCU, a close friend to many Honours Students is a lesbian. I told him "She hasn't told you that, but she's told me. What now?"
He placed his hands on the table, flat and firm, looked me directly in the eyes without blinking and responded "No difference. She is no exception."
At this point I looked away and flatly suggested we all pay and leave.

A while ago I was out to lunch with this same gentleman and a few of the other Honours guys and they were discussing the story of how a few years ago in Mukono a serial rapist was caught in the street and a group of boda drivers (notoriously rough-around-the-edges kind of guys) beat him in the middle of the street and burned him alive in front of the church which happened to be on the other side of the road. In a society where the police force is pretty difficult to mobilize and where communal living provides it's own social security, this was a natural thing to happen- but the guys retelling me this account were still raising their eyebrows at the fact that he was burned alive outside the church! How inappropriate! They asked me what I thought of the situation, one asking me "what do you think? Was what the boda drivers did to him appropriate or just? Should they have burned him alive- outside the CHURCH?" - my response being "I would have burned him on the very altar of the church. Of course it was appropriate."
The group was incredulous. They thought my response was the harshest ideology they'd ever heard in concerns to this case.
While I understand my response was hasty and maybe (I haven't quite decided) exaggerated, I would certainly stand firm on the death sentence for anyone who has committed such a fantastic crime as multiple rapes. It may not be Biblical or loving, but I can't see past the emotions that are stirred in me concerning that sort of act. And here I sat, judged and bemusing all the men with my harsh convictions- men who think a man that says he loves another man should be tarred and feathered and hung out to dry in the public square. Literally. There are some parts of this country that still strike me as backwards, in ways I don’t know that I could ever understand.
A shout out to American tolerance. I never thought I would truly know how to appreciate freedom or our very many rights and privileges. I'm trying to roll with the punches here on two levels;
1) Level headedly, that I may seriously try to understand and recognize these views which rub my heart raw and
2) Convicted; that I may still speak for my views without being arrogant and unreasonable, but not backing down from my convictions and passionate beliefs in equality and human rights (in terms of gender roles and homosexuality here). That I may defend my friend here at UCU who has hidden her sexuality from all but a handful of people in her life for fear of her life and for fear of being cut from family ties, but that I may also not judge this guy at lunch for his closed mind- but rather try and nudge the door open a bit at least in showing my willingness to disagree but still hear him out.

In other news, had a girls night in Kampala with Esther, Taui & Jen --- tiramisu, Indian cuisine complete with sweet lassi, UCU basketball game (we won!) at which I met a famous baller who calls himself "Jordan" (of course), and $4 perfume called "Feminism". Perfect.